Every year I get older, I speak to my older self, telling her what and what not to do. But, this year
feels is different, from not having an idea on what to do and when I started to speak to my older self, it did not just go well, I kept referring back to my younger self. Then, I saw a tweet where a person twote that for you to move forward in life, you have to forgive your younger self– and boom, I knew I had some unfinished business with my younger self.
As a toddler, you really don’t know what is going on around you, so it is best for you to live in the moment.
When you become a gradeschooler, your sexuality would be questioned a lot but I promise you, you would resolve it in no time.
Dad would be your best friend, maybe when you grow older, you might want to know a little bit about your mum. You would have a love-hate relationship with your brother but he is still and will forever be your main guy.
Another thing, you are going to fail a lot; and by a lot, your promotion to the next class will be on trial; you would be promoted without questions only twice. This is really going to affect your self-esteem and confidence and you would ‘think’ that you always need a guy to help you boost your confidence (tbh, you would still be working on this even when you are older but this time without you would not need a guy or anyone to validate you). And because you are vulnerable, your heart and innocence are going to be toyed with.
Your first love is going to give the ‘shock’ of your life (it could pass as your most embarrasing day on earth) and you would hate guys that belong to that tribe or have similarities with that tribe but as you grow older, you would have a open mind about everybody. Your next boyfriend would take you for a ride; he calls/texts you when he feels or rather when you cross his mind and you what? You would be foolish enough to fall for his antics, because he knows how to write his way to your heart. At a point, you would rather just have open relationships and lots of friends with benefit because you can’t deal with any man’s stress any longer.
You would go to a boarding school where no one minds their business, your dream of writing a book would be blurry, because everything you have written would be read out to the entire Girls’ hostel and torn, you would also be beaten for having a crush on your Seniors’/ house mistress’ crush(es). You would learn Yoruba language because you got insulted with it a lot.
Your first year in university at is going to expose to a lot of things that you have never experienced, and that will be a problem for you because you are ‘extra’ with everything. So you would do it a lot and it would affect your grades, then, you will realise that there is more to life than ‘feeling among’ and stop it in your second semester (tbh, it is going to be really hard)
Despite the hurtful things people do to you, you are never going to stop doing good for/to them, and that doesn’t make you a fool, that is your nature, your heart is too big to accomodate a lot of people and their problems; as you grow older you would learn, how to cut toxic people from your life.
There would be a time you would know God and just leave every situaution to Him, and I bet you that would be the best decision you would make at a young age, becaue this life cannot be done when we lean on our own wisdom and understanding.
At age 19, in your fourth year in the university, you are going to meet a guy that would not judge you with your past, he is going to help you forgive yourself and would be willing to stick through it all with you, and even when you decide to be foolish and mess things up, he won’t leave you and that should give you the hint to keep this guy because this kind of guys are rare to find.
As you become a an adult (21) tomorrow, I pray that all your heart desires are granted to you and trust me, you are going to smash Law School. I love you for who you were, who you are and who you are becoming. I am so proud of you.